A’ight boys; this one’s for us. It’s a topic mentioned recently on my personal blog, but I thought it’s important enough to share here as well.
A couple of months ago, I was chatting with a girl friend of mine (a friend who happens to be a girl; don’t be getting any ideas), and during the conversation she asked me, “Where have all the cowboys gone?”
Holding back a smirk, I responded with, “You do realize we live in the city, right?”
And without missing a beat, she said: “I’m speaking metaphorically. Where is chivalry in the world today?”
We talked about this for awhile and came to the conclusion chivalry is on hiatus somewhere in the Bahamas, because we rarely see it in the dating world — she told me men don’t offer it often, and I explained that women seem apprehensive toward guys who are. By no specific fault of either gender, chivalry has gone the way of the dinosaur. People aren’t nice just because; there’s always an ulterior motive, right?
She then proceeded to tell me about a date she had a few years previous while attending Utah Valley State College (of course now it’s Utah Valley University). There was a young country boy, who returned home from serving a full-time mission, in her history class. During the semester they became friends. One day after class, he mustered up enough courage to ask, “Can I take you to dinner?” She agreed and arrangements were set for the weekend.
When Friday night arrived, he drove to her apartment, walked to the door and knocked. After pleasantries were exchanged, the date ensued. She mentioned that he was a little awkward on the date, but attributed it to being “fresh off the mission.” One thing that did strike her about his demeanor was how gentlemanly he was. “He treated me like a lady.”
That’s when I got pen and paper out, because I knew she was about to tell me the secret of winning a woman’s heart. As I waited on baited breath, she said, “Throughout the evening, he was so cautious to make sure he always held the door open for me: car door, restaurant, movie, etc.” But being young, she admitted getting a little frustrated thinking; “I’m fully capable of opening my own door.” So she asked, “Why do you always get the door for me?”
He timidly responded with, “I’m just trying to be a real cowboy, like my father.”
I will never forget the day my father taught my brothers and me about chivalry. It was during a family home evening lesson; he explained every detail of what he expected his sons to do when they started dating. Holding doors for women, offering your chair for her to sit, etc. I was probably no more than 8 years old — dating was a lifetime away, but to this day, I open the door for every date. (Guys, I highly recommend you either start or continue to do this for every girl you go out with. You’ll be surprised how well she’ll respond.)
But, why stop being chivalrous when you’ve dropped off your date? How many times have Mormon leaders referenced the brethren as “a royal priesthood”? (1 Peter 2:9) Taking writer’s liberties and making a comparison to royalty, chivalry is to exude the qualities idealized by knighthood. These qualities include courtesy, honor, bravery, and gallantry towards all women. There are so many applications for chivalry.
Call me old-fashioned, but what woman doesn’t want to be swept off her feet, riding off into the sunset with her cowboy? Besides, something tells me the guy is getting a pretty good deal in the end as well.
Great, so there’s the pep talk. I guess the point I’m trying to get across is this: Can we all try a little harder to be more chivalrous, or gracious to accept chivalry? Guys, this is probably more of a call for us to step it up. It’s about time we dust off the boots of chivalry, tip the hat of courtesy and cowboy up.