I get random e-mails from time to time, most of which I delete without reading. This one, however, I found to be quite funny.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas…
Things I’ve learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
* a) For those with no children – this is totally hysterical!
* b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
* c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
* d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
* e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
I have seen that email and I chuckle every time!But I must have angels, because honestly the only thing my kids do is get on my nerves when I am having a bad day! Oh wait I do remember once brushing Summers hair, she hauled off bit me! Drew blood and all!
But really they are angels, thank goodness because I was 39 and 40 when I gave birth to them!
Maybe that is why they are so good! Maybe I made a deal with God!
Funny thought!
I have read this about 1000 times, and I still laugh.
How many of these pranks/stunts did you personally try while growing up??
My daughter used to try and feed the vcr legos ….
That e-mail is funny, but I’m not sure it could be considered birth control. Honestly the best form of birth control I’ve found is arriving late for church and having to sit in the back row where the kids roam free and you can’t hear the speakers.
I want to try number 2 just to see if that's true.
>=D
Two things:
1) This list is not exclusive to boys. Trust me on this.
2) Super glue is NOT forever. Acetone (or nail polish remover) works wonders. Thank goodness.
Don,
I did get this email too. It’s been around the world I think. And you know what? It’s just not for boys……my girl can come up with better stuff than her brother.
I only have one boy. Luckily he wasn’t too bad although we did have a couple of incidences with the glue. How Mother Osmond ever coped with 8 of them I’ll never know, and your Mother with 5 (especially with your Father away so much), well I’d be on the valium by now thats for sure.
Hope you manage to get some practice in today. Have a good weekend anyway.
OMG, Don!!!! This is too funny.
Sometimes your brain scares me.
Did you go bodsledding yesterday?