“How do I survive being home for the holidays with family and friends asking me about my dating life if it’s not going anywhere? Do you have any suggestions on how to avoid the question or change the subject?”
That’s the blessing and curse of going to school in Utah.
You go to BYU because the communications department is ranked in the top five. Your family thinks you’re there because it is the land of “milk and ‘hunnies.’” (Your brother met his wife there, your parents met there, even your grandparents met there!)
So, it’s inevitable that the “dating” question will pop up in conversation. And unfortunately, everyone who is married will have some type of advice to give you. (Because they are experts.)
I don’t think there is a way to avoid the topic. The best thing to do, have a positive attitude. Easier said than done? True, but if you fight against everyone, it will just give them more fodder.
Trust me, this happens to me every family get-together: (comments are made in jest)
Family member: “Don, why aren’t you married yet?”
Don: “I’m waiting for her to graduate high school.”
Family member: “Are you dating anyone seriously?”
Don: “No, I’m just seriously dating.”
Family member: “What happened to ‘so-and-so’? You two were perfect for each other.”
Don: “She felt her career was more important than marriage. I died the day she told me she was moving to Alaska to be a penguin trainer.” (Don’t forget to cry!)
On a more serious note, family are only concerned for you. Just be honest with them. Let them know how you feel about dating. If you’re frustrated, tell them. The married ones have been there before. The single ones are going through it. Everyone needs a little support. Dating is brutal: lean upon your family. You’ll find they truly care about you and want you to be happy.
Enjoy this holiday season!!
Don… This cracks me up as it should because it is SOOOOO true! I have ALWAYS wondered why a family asks you if you are dating anyone…my response is always a little snotty.. I always say, “If I was dating someone you better believe I would bring them here so I didn’t have to go through this whole questioning thing again!” My family usually laughs and thinks I am hillarious but I am DEAD serious. My other comeback is… I am not datinga nyone because you haven’t set me up with them yet! lol That always shuts them up really quickly.
Meg Gaz
I feel your pain my Mom comes from 11 brothers and Sisters so I get heckled ALOT! My least favorite thing comes at weddings… When I am happy and feel sweetness I tear up. My family takes that I am depressed that I am the oldest unmarried cousin so instead of giving the bride or groom the attention they deserve in the sealing room they are all consoling me (that doesn’t need consoling) and telling me that I am amazing and in the Lord’s due time I will be married…. GRRRR one of my biggest pet peeves! So I appreciated your comments that they do it because they love you… I need to remember that! Kind of like you and your Dad’s commments on ET
Comment by Meg Gazaway — November 15, 2007 @ 11:59 am
I’m enjoying your “dating advice” column. You have humor. Best wishes!
Comment by E — April 25, 2008 @ 12:05 pm