Friday is finally here (and not a moment too soon)!
Just thought that I would share that with y’all.
Have a great weekend. 
November 30, 2007
November 28, 2007
Overheard in Sandy…
Instead of “Overheard in New York,” I would like to share a short experience that happened to a close friend of mine. (I hope that he doesn’t mind me sharing. But for the betterment of mankind, I hope the crazy people of the world take note of what causes normal people to feel uncomfortable.)
The story goes like this…
Upon finishing his grocery shopping, Josh (name changed to protect the innocent) decided to fill up his truck at the nearby gas station. He pulled up, removed the cap, and proceeded to drain his bank account due to the extortionate surge of oil prices.
No sooner did he jump in his truck; he noticed a sleek sports car backing up with little regard to its surroundings. Moving closer to Josh’s truck, he laid on the horn and started his vehicle in hopes to get away before the inevitable. BANG!
Too late. Josh now found himself locked in his truck because the offending car was resting against the driver’s-side door. The ‘accidenter’ remained in the car and appeared to be frozen in shock.
Gracefully exiting the passenger side, Josh walked around the now the eight-wheeled steel roadblock and knocked on the window of the car. A chick! (an older one I might add – late 40s) The two of them assessed the damage and concluded that there was little to complain about. They were about to part ways when she asked Josh, “Are you single?”
The question took him by surprise since it came from an older woman, but didn’t think much of it because he had been set up by many mothers before. “Yes,” was his reply.
“That’s good. So am I,” she mentioned rather nonchalantly. “Would you like to go out some time?”
Floored by her response, “Well, I’m kinda seeing someone actually.”
“Oh, that’s OK. I’m married.”
“You’re what? But, you just said that you were single!”
“Well, it’s complicated,” she began backpedaling. “I’m not actually married. I’ve been with the same man for about 27 years, and we have a couple kids. But, it’s just not there anymore.”
“Ummm.”
“You see, I saw you in the market and…” Though she continued to talk, Josh was getting furious thinking, ‘Woman. If you hit my truck to hit on me, I’m going to be really ticked off!’
“…And I was just wondering if you would like to do dinner sometime.”
Josh replied, “You know, I’ve gotta get going. Your car is fine. My truck’s OK.”
Hoping to keep him there a bit longer, “Well, can I give you a hug at least?”
Before Josh could respond, she had him in an uncomfortable embrace. And though it only lasted a mere three seconds, it was three seconds too long.
He got in his truck, pealed out of the gas station and immediately called me up.
“Don, you are not going to believe what just happened to me…” And, he proceeded to recount the entire last 20 minutes. And I didn’t, until he kept going, and going… You just don’t make that kinda stuff up.
—Dude, I’m sorry that happened to you, but it made for a great blog entry! And to think, she could be your mother, yuck! There are some screwed up people out there.
Man Lotion
So, I live in a desert. Dry skin is a battle we desert-dwellers deal with daily.
During the winter, dry skin becomes even more of an ordeal. But as men, we tend not to think much about the bleeding that occurs from cracked epidermis; that’s what being a man is about.
That being said, you can only imagine my amazement when I noticed the latest addition to the men’s bathroom at work – a stainless steel lotion dispenser. I stood there beside myself in awe. “There is lotion in the men’s room!”
Curiosity got the best of me and I squirted a dab in my hand.
The jury is still out… I don’t know what to think about the “man lotion.”
November 27, 2007
eBay
So, a faction of eBay is moving into our building. And in order to accommodate their needs, they are doing some serious remodeling (rather, I should say, gutting the place bare). Apparently, they have completely emptied out the entire first floor; the only things remaining are the exterior walls and a few support beams. I will also add that they find the best time for this construction – business hours!
Yes, for the last month we have been enjoying the sweet sounds of squealing drills and pitter-patter of pounding jackhammers. I find that this cacophony of sounds really helps to suppress the creative juices. Instead of a candy dish at the front desk, there is a wide-assortment pill bottles ranging from Advil to Tylenol. (Pick your poison.)
With all these wonderful changes going on around the office, it’s no wonder why people have decided to “work from home.”
November 21, 2007
Thanksgiving Time
Isn’t it interesting that Thanksgiving (a time for selflessness, and reflection of the blessings we enjoy) falls between, what has become as, two somewhat self-serving holidays. It is one holiday that seems lost in this feud of attention.
Now, I’m not suggesting that both Halloween and Christmas are innately bad holidays, it’s just the over-commercialization of both have drawn consumers to the “what-can-I-get” mentality. Personally, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and Christmas is a great time to get the family together. (And contrary to common misconception, we do not gather ‘round the family room to sing Christmas Carols.)
So, this Thanksgiving take a minute to remember what you are thankful for; if needs be, tell someone. Pass around the contagious nature of gratitude.
Thank you to all those who read this blog. Without you I wouldn’t write!
Thank you!!
Thanks to all who helped get Marie into the finals for Dancing with the Stars!!!
November 20, 2007
Nights and Weekends
In conjunction with the previous post…
Thank heavens for cell phone calling plans that give you free nights and weekends. I just got my bill for last month – 1946 minutes on a 1000 minute plan!
We were discussing minute usage at the office, today. Everyone else was around the 1000 range or lower. My reasoning for minutes used was I’m single. (Yes, everyone in my office is married.) Being single you have to run two businesses: Personal and Professional.
Additional notes:
Texts: 2128
Megabytes used: 12.3523
November 19, 2007
Mass Texting
So, this evening I probably sent out nearly 500 text messages to friends, co-workers and acquaintances to remind them to vote for Marie on Dancing with the Stars. Some of you may have wondered what that strange text was all about when you received it. (I apologize if it caught you off guard.) Let’s just say that I’m a little excited that Marie has made it to the final four. We’ll have to wait and see what happens tomorrow.
To those of you, who voted; thank you. To those of you, who were caught off guard; I apologize, but hope you voted anyway!
November 18, 2007
Terms of Embitterment
Dating changes the older you get. While in high school, dating is merely getting together for a good time with friends. And then, as you age, you begin to take dating more seriously. You pair off and establish titles: boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other…
For a majority of the dating population, the first relationship is not always the lasting relationship; hearts are broken, and new relationships are formed. However, the scars of previous relationships (more often than not) tend to linger.
I like to call those the “Terms of Embitterment,” more commonly referred to as baggage!
A friend of mine recently went out with a divorced father of three… He could not stop talking about his ex-wife and all her foibles.
My friend called the next day. I didn’t even have to ask if there would be a second date; the answer was in the tone of her voice has she discussed the details of dinner.
Look. The older you get, the higher probability you are going to have baggage. There is no need to lay out your five-piece, luggage set with matching hat box out on a first date. Conceal the cobwebs in the closet and let the conversation occur naturally – over time!
So, there is my soapbox… I suppose my dating advice still finds an avenue, even though I haven’t written my column in a long time.
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November 16, 2007
Flattery and Flatulence
We’ve all heard enough of them to know they stink.
Today’s post is to bring to everyone’s attention that no one likes flattery. It is nothing more than an empty compliment.
For those who participate on social networking sites, you know what I’m talking about. You get some random e-mail from someone you don’t know from Adam, and they shower you with praise and compliments – ad nauseam! To those who send flattery darts, I say this: “You may think what you are doing feels good, but the recipient feels like they have been crapped on.”
Now, I don’t mean to only point out the negative. The remedy for the situation is to get to know the person, and (more importantly) let them get to know you before you pay them a compliment.
No one likes flattery; no one likes flatulence.
(Writer’s note: To my friend, who is inundated with flattery-filled e-mails from frisky flatulent fiends, send those guys to this link. Sorry honey, I hope this post helps.)