Don Osmond: In my opinion…

“How do I survive being home for the holidays with family and friends asking me about my dating life if it’s not going anywhere? Do you have any suggestions on how to avoid the question or change the subject?”

That’s the blessing and curse of going to school in Utah.

You go to BYU because the communications department is ranked in the top five. Your family thinks you’re there because it is the land of “milk and ‘hunnies.’” (Your brother met his wife there, your parents met there, even your grandparents met there!)

So, it’s inevitable that the “dating” question will pop up in conversation. And unfortunately, everyone who is married will have some type of advice to give you. (Because they are experts.)

I don’t think there is a way to avoid the topic. The best thing to do, have a positive attitude. Easier said than done? True, but if you fight against everyone, it will just give them more fodder.

Trust me, this happens to me every family get-together: (comments are made in jest)

Family member: “Don, why aren’t you married yet?”
Don: “I’m waiting for her to graduate high school.”

Family member: “Are you dating anyone seriously?”
Don: “No, I’m just seriously dating.”

Family member: “What happened to ‘so-and-so’? You two were perfect for each other.”
Don: “She felt her career was more important than marriage. I died the day she told me she was moving to Alaska to be a penguin trainer.” (Don’t forget to cry!)

On a more serious note, family are only concerned for you. Just be honest with them. Let them know how you feel about dating. If you’re frustrated, tell them. The married ones have been there before. The single ones are going through it. Everyone needs a little support. Dating is brutal: lean upon your family. You’ll find they truly care about you and want you to be happy.

Enjoy this holiday season!!

The holiday season is upon us, and time to go back home and be with family. But, this also means that those of us that have hooked up may not see our significant other for a week or so. Reminds me of a song, Blue Christmas.

I’ll have a blue Christmas without you
I’ll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won’t be the same dear, if you’re not here with me

And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That’s when those blue memories start calling
You’ll be doin’ all right, with your Christmas of white
But I’ll have a blue, blue Christmas

So, the question. “How do I stay in touch with someone I just started dating during the holidays without seeming too overbearing? Will they freak out if I call everyday?”

For all intents and purposes in this column, let’s assume you have been dating for about two months now. Meaning, you are dating seriously, you spend more time together than apart, and your grades are dropping because study time has become steady time.

Now, on with the play-by-play…

It’s the first day of winter break, and you are driving her to the airport. When you get there, you unload her luggage; you embrace, kiss and even cry a little since you are not going to see each other for about a week. Then, she leaves.

Hours pass by, and she finally calls to let you know she made it home safely. (That’s a good thing. She was thinking about you on the plane)

The next day is the first full day you will not see her, and think to yourself, “I hope she is having a good time with her family.” You want to call her, but you don’t know what to say.

It is at this exact moment when you realize your relationship has gone from no distance to long distance. Oh, the agony! What do you talk about when you haven’t seen each other for 24 hours? (That’s for you to figure out.)

However, now that you are in a long-distance relationship, avoid talking like: “I miss you so much.” And… “It’s so hard to get through the day without you.” Or… “I want to be cuddling up next to you under a blanket, in front of a fire, with cup of hot chocolate, while the snow is falling outside.”

(You’re laughing… It’s because we’ve all said it before)

These are what I like to call draining statements. They don’t promote a positive attitude. In fact, they do just the opposite; you begin thinking about everything you don’t have. And when you focus on that, you only become depressed.

Instead talk about what you are doing rather than what you are not doing. No one wants a needy person. Sure it’s nice to be loved, and yes, you’d rather be cuddling with your special someone. But, save that for later.

I’ll tell you this. I’m willing to bet that during this holiday season, if you were to have positive conversations, you could call nearly everyday without being overbearing.

And when she comes back for the next semester, you’ll be waiting at the airport to greet her with a hug and a kiss, and another kiss. Well… maybe one more kiss.