Occasionally, I get e-mails from guys who are frustrated with dating. (And some guys that need help dating.) I received one such e-mail from a distraught dater. He wrote, “I have been dating this girl for two weeks and things were going great until she told me she was going on a blind date next week. I thought we were dating seriously.”
So, I asked a few girls, “What would you tell him?” This is what I found.
Dating. As pathetic as it may sound, some guys just don’t know what it is. Contrary to popular definition, dating is more than two consecutive dates. There should be a mutual agreement that you are dating. Just because you have experience a “mighty change of heart” doesn’t mean she feels the same. Do yourself a favor; date casually for at least a month before you even consider exclusivity.
While dating, everyone wants to now, “What are we? Boyfriend, girlfriend?” However, try to avoid the DTR (Define the Relationship). Just try open communication. (Oh, now there’s a novel idea; a relationship based on conversation.) If you are honest with each other you won’t need the awkward DTR. However, if for some reason you have neglected this crucial step in building a relationship, then please resort back to the high school-like DTR. (And to think, you’re in college!)
So, what did you find out? If you’ve agreed to some level of exclusivity, Congratulations! You are officially dating.
If you’re still in a quandary, keep dating casually. Some ladies take a little time to warm up. Try making her jealous, just a little. Let her know, without being cocky, you have a plethora of women to choose from. (Just don’t tell her you’re dating hundreds of women. That’s not cool.) Try the, “I can’t go out, because I’m too busy” approach. Girls analyze. Use that to your advantage.
Unfortunately, you have to take a chance; she might not like you. Let her go! Besides, there are more fish in the pond. Think of it this way; don’t want to waste your time with someone who doesn’t know what she wants.
Dating Statistics
Have you ever dated more than one person simultaneously?
1. Yes 53%
2. No 33%
3. Don’t Know 13%
Do you believe in love at first sight?
1. Yes 71%
2. No 20%
3. Don’t Know 9%
When does a date become a relationship?
1. 1 week 3%
2. 1 month 17%
3. 2 months 20%
4. 6 months 13%
5. Once I have met the parents 8%
6. When he/she says I love you 25%
Do you trust someone when you first date him or her?
1. Yes 24%
2. No 67%
3. Don’t Know 10%
Do you think people’s expectations are too high these days?
1. Yes 62%
2. No 31%
3. Don’t Know 7%
Do you like being single?
1. I love it 0%
2. I like it 15%
3. I don’t mind 35%
4. I don’t like it 15%
5. I hate it 35%
Are men too clingy these days?
1. Yes 38%
2. No 33%
3. Haven’t noticed 11%
4. Don’t know 18%
* Statistics come from TopDatingTips.com